Sometimes I can’t believe that anything good will ever happen again.

This virus going around has just added to my already bad anxiety. I thought my anxiety couldn’t get worse. But it has by a lot.

I thought I was going out to lunch today. I had myself talked into it, but that didn’t last. Same thing about lunch for the past few weeks. I really want to get out of the house. I really want some beer and wings. I want to go to the grocery store. Not sure I need anything, but I want to go browse. Walk around and have something to do.

The good news is that I don’t always feel this way. It comes and goes but I haven’t noticed a pattern. Tomorrow I may feel good but today is a real challenge. Sometimes it’s not as bad as other days. Sometimes it doesn’t last all day. I may wake up anxious and depressed and later on in the day it goes away.

I need a break from the news cycle. Probably social media, too. I think for the next few days all I’ll do is open a browser and check the weather. Nothing else. I have tried that before and it did seem to help.

As I said before, I haven’t noticed a pattern. Maybe I should try to keep a journal about it. If I feel anxious and depressed today, what happened yesterday or last night that may have triggered it? What was on my mind yesterday? Any news I heard on tv, the internet or from a friend? Did I get out yesterday or stuck at home? Did I eat right or skip a meal? Did I do any type of exercise or just go out in the backyard and get some sun? I want to look for  a pattern.

There is one thing that makes it better and that’s knowing I’m not the only one that feels that way. That didn’t sound right. Sounds like misery loves company. That’s not what I mean. What I mean is that I’m not weird in that there are a lot of other people that have the same problem. It can happen to anyone.  We are not alone.

I can stop blaming myself

This is not my fault. I wouldn’t blame myself for this anymore that I’d blame some other poor person that has this problem. I feel sympathy for the others and myself. I wish us all the best. And I know that there are a lot of others that have gotten better by a lot. That’s encouraging.

Activity by Activity

What helped me is just trying to do things that I normally would do if I weren’t feeling anxious. I don’t have to do everything but I can find some things that are not that hard to do. I may not want to but when I force myself then very often it gets a lot better. The more I do any particular activity the easier that activity gets. But I need to keep doing it on a fairly regular basis. It’s the things I put off doing that worry me so much.